Story: The Legends Of Yippie

 

Written by: Ben Berkenbosch

Genre: Fantasy

Age recommendation: 12 years or older (cheeky humour, violence, foul language)

 

Chapter 1: Prologue

 

The land of Boralius used to be peaceful place. The people and creatures all lived in harmony and cooked together, until one day Yeet was born. Yeet grew up in violence, and this has led him to grow numb, fearless, ambitious, and powerful. Yeet has no conscious, and this very thing is what threatens the existence of everyone and everything. Because Yeet will not stop until he has everyone, and everything under his spell.

 

Chapter 2: The Escape

 

“Do you guys smell that too?!” said Yippie the Hat. Yippie and 4 brave cooks worked 7 days a week in their restaurant in order to keep it open. The times were tough financially. As of recently there’s been a lot of tension and fear among the land of Boralius. But the fire was there, would this mean this is the end of their restaurant?

The cooks went outside and there were goblins everywhere, they looted their houses, they set fire and this would mean they end of their village. The mother of one of the cooks begged them to run away to the forest, not looking back, because someone needed to stop Yeet. They looked in the corner of their eyes, and yes. There was Yeet, a giant Goblin, destroying their homes, just for sport. The cooks said okay, but they couldn’t leave Yippie, they had to save Yippie, because Yippie is the best of us.

By the time they went back inside, the kitchen was already on fire and Yippie couldn’t go anywhere. Almost dying of smoke inhalation, one of the cooks bravely ran into the fire and took Yippie. The successfully resuscitated Yippie outside, but a goblin already caught up to the cooks. They had to fight him off in order to escape. They managed to knock out the goblin by hitting him with their 12 inch KitchenAid Stainless Steel Pan (not sponsored).

The cooks ran into the forest, looking back at their home village. They were the only survivors. This can only mean one thing: it’s war.

 

Chapter 3: The Forest

 

The cooks arrived at the forest, devastated about their loss. But not Yippie, Yippie decided to be brave and give the cooks a pep talk. “We have the means to save this land!” said Yippie cheerfully. The cooks thought this was impossible and way too ambitious. But Yippie told them they should start small. “There’s hunger all around the world, so we can collect food and save everyone from starvation” said Yippie. By doing this, the cooks planned to gather an army, which would be the only way to defeat “Yeet, The Goblin King”.

The cooks stumbled upon some people, they were being attacked by a group of goblins. By using their 12 inch KitchenAid Stainless Steel Pan they managed to knock out the goblins once again, and this time saving the people. These people invited the cooks over to their village: “Solitura Village”.

Arriving in Solitura Village, the cooks managed to set up a restaurant with the resources there. These people were very kind. They cooked a lot and made a lot of friends. The people told the cooks about “Jakkala, The Wild One”. He was one of Yeet’s elite goblins who stole the supplies of the people here. When the people of Solitura learned that the cooks used the food in the forest, they were shocked. Jakkala promised to leave them alone, as long as they didn’t take the food from ‘his’ forest.

The village elder came and told everyone to prepare defences. They knew Jakkala would be coming for them. Yippie told them about what they went through, and he promised the villagers that he would do everything in his power to protect them. Because nobody deserves to go through the same fate.

But fate was never kind to them. Jakkala’s army managed to break through the defences before they had a chance to protect themselves. In an epic battle against Jakkala, their 12 inch KitchenAid Stainless Steel Pan wasn’t enough. The cooks got creative and cooked meals with rotten garlic and fed this to goblins. This has led them to quickly develop a severe autoimmune disease, leaving Jakkala vulnerable. But it was too late to finish the battle, because the fire spread to everywhere and people had to get away immediately. Most villagers managed to escape with the help of Yippie. The cooks desperately tried to save the elder, but failed in their attempt. He was trapped behind a wall of logs that separated the village from the group. The elder grabbed some supplies, though it wasn’t clear at first what these supplies were. But then he screamed: “Jakkala, you fucking donkey, this is for Solitura!!!”. And a huge explosion occurred, leaving Solitura in nothing but ashes.

The cooks went on the move, together with the remaining people of Solitura village.

 

Chapter 4: The Grasslands

 

After a very long hike, the group arrived in the grasslands. There were a lot of cows, chickens, and there was wheat everywhere! This inspired the cooks to come up with the ultimate pancake recipe. They managed to survive for a long time, and there were barely any goblins. There were a few, but those goblins quickly learned they were on the wrong side of the 12 inch KitchenAid Stainless Steel Pan. This caused most goblins to return to their base.

The group stumbled upon a huge barn building, filled with valuables. They even found Legos! They decided to use these Legos to make some kitchen appliances. Yippie warned them to be cautious and not drop any legos, because it could seriously injure anyone by stepping on it. Yippie said: “Nobody deserves to step on Legos, I wouldn’t even want this for Yeet!”. But it was too late, because someone dropped some legos and right at that moment a random goblin ran in. “Ouuauuahchchaaaahfhhhfhanaaaouchchnjggauuuuuu!!!” said the goblin. He was in agony, and this made him FURIOUS. Yippie apologized to the goblin and then the group went into the other part of the barn to cook some pancakes.

While cooking the pancakes, the goblin stumbled in again. He demanded to get at least a pancake, the group agreed that this was a reasonable price to pay for their actions. But the goblin was stupid and decided to craft a helium balloon to calm down. This balloon caught fire from the stove, and this caused a huge fire to everyone in the barn. Luckily the group managed to escape the barn, including the goblin with the injured foot.

The group apologised to the goblin and decided to move on to the rivers. But the goblin wasn’t happy. He said: “I didn’t get my pancake!!!! You are all liars!!!” This caused the goblin to turn into pure anger, which he used to curse all the cows in the entire region. He then disappeared…

“Do you guys smell that too?!” said Yippie The Hat. But this time it wasn’t fire. It was the cows, there were cows EVERYWHERE. This was a very messy conflict, but luckily the group managed to escape and find a raft.

 

Chapter 5: The Rivers

 

The group went down the river on their big raft, but they didn’t anticipate how dangerous this would be. The raft was constantly moving, and the cooks still had to provide everyone with food. So they developed a skill to throw food in order to cook more efficiently going down the river.

Here they met: “Pork, The Unfair One”. Pork is one of the elite goblins, and he sabotages the raft. While fighting Pork, the raft became smaller and smaller. It wasn’t easy, but thanks to their trusty 12 inch KitchenAid Stainless Steel Pan, the cooks managed to defeat Pork.

The group had to go through a huge storm on their tiny tiny raft. They realised that this was the worst and scariest experience they have ever had. It is one thing to lose your family to war, but then also having to go through a stormy sea on a tiny raft, with the hopes to one day find peace again? Luckily Yippie managed to keep everyone encouraged and motivated for the mission.

 

Chapter 6: The Wild Sea

 

The cooks landed in a huge sea. Here they gathered a lot of food. Thanks to their Lidl Shopper Bag (sponsored), they were able to hold a lot of food. Just enough food that it felt like the bag would tear, but not too much that it would actually tear.

With their legos, they upgraded their raft a tiny bit, just enough to have space to cook some stuff. The cooks had to do with limited resources, so they decided to only make some lobster ravioli with tomato cream sauce. They struggled a bit with making the ravioli dough, but with the help of Yippie, they managed to get it thin enough to feed everyone!

Eventually they stumbled upon a pirate ship, filled with goblins. They also noticed that “Niatpac, The Crazy Captain” was commanding the ship. Since Niatpac is one of the elite goblins that works for Yeet, they had to be careful.

By repurposing the lego on the raft, the group managed to create a slope into the back of the ship. They managed to sneak in, but there were two goblins guarding. They knew that if they were to knock them out with their 12 inch KitchenAid Stainless Steel Pan, it would alarm the other goblins on the ship. So instead, they pulled an AK-47 on them. In retrospective, this was a bad idea, because it happened to alarm the other goblins. Mission failed. The cooks quickly decided to team up, two of them went to set up the kitchen in order to feed the group, while the other two decided to fight off the hordes of goblins.

Since their AK-47 was made out of Legos, this wasn’t their most effective weapon against all these goblins. They decided to use some of their leftover broccoli to scare the goblins. Yippie resuscitated a few goblins who went into cardiac arrest after seeing the broccoli. Yippie knew that there is always another way to solve conflict without people having to die, this idea was sacred to Yippie.

With all the goblins being traumatised by a piece of broccoli, the group laughingly went to approach Niatpac, using the same strategy as they did for the other Goblins. But this time it did not work as expected, because Niatpac took the broccoli from their hands and took a big bit from it, right before throwing it on the ground, and stepping on it.

After a very fierce battle, they managed to defeat Niatpac and take control of the ship. They sailed towards the foot of a huge mountain. Yippie decided to give the ship back to the goblins and this caused the goblins to retreat.

 

Chapter 7: The Mountains

 

The group looked up the grand mountain and knew this was gonna be a huge climb, so they decided to make a plan. It wouldn’t really be very useful to go all the way up if there’s nothing to find, but they did notice a village not too far up, so they decided to make the climb to this village. Here they met Ms. Kurablin. She was very old, and incredibly smart. She told the cooks about how they have difficulties with finding food, apart from a few birds and berries, they barely have any food to live from. The cooks luckily had a lot of food with them from their journey, so they decided to share this with the people of Kurablin.

After everyone was fed, Ms. Kurablin told them about the ancient history of the mountain and about how Yeet came to power. “The story of Kurablin starts with the story of the Philips Airfryer HD9200/90. This magical artifact used to be able to feed everyone without making them fat. We used this magical artifact to feed our people, while also keeping them fit enough to go down and gather fish from the sea, and coconuts from the beach. But one day, Yeet took the Philips Airfryer HD9200/90. Ever since, we have had it tough, we got down towards a spiral of having to always deep fry our chicken. While this was fun at first, long-term it did more harm than good. If you can retrieve the Philips Airfryer HD9200/90, then this is your best shot at defeating Yeet. Rumours say that it’s guarded by “Yeeeeeeee, The Undefeated”, she is by far the strongest out of all the elite goblins. She’s hiding in the clouds, the only way to get there would be to climb up to the mountain tops and entering the clouds from there.”

 

Chapter 8: The Journey Up

 

The group decided that if this is the best way to save the land, then they had to take their chances and go up all the way. As a gesture of good faith, Ms. Kurablin sent some of her strongest people up with the group. After saying goodbye, the new and improved group went up.

The group was halfway across the mountain and decided to cook some chicken. Of course they knew better than to deep fry it, so they decided to make some delicious chimi changas, and deepfry those instead. Because of the proteins the beans provided them, the group got a lot of energy to continue the climb. But after a while, Yippie noticed something strange, something concerning. There was a dragon flying around the mountain! This caused the group to be extremely careful from now on.

Once they finally made it to the last bit of the climb, the dragon noticed something strange, a villager from Solitura, once again dropped a piece of Lego. The dragon saw this and got angry, he pushed this person off the mountain and started breathing flames towards everyone. The cooks had to fight him by being extremely creative. They decided to set up a kitchen and make a lot of chimi changas. While some chimi changas are nice to eat, you should not eat too many of them, because you will get sick. They avenged their friend’s death by feeding its killer: “The Dragon” with a lot of chimi changas. Eventually they managed to shoot enough chimi changas in his mouth which caused the dragon to drop down, way out of their sight, so many frames down that it wouldn’t even be rendered anymore.

But right before the dragon disappeared out of sight, something tragic happened. It drew a final breath of fire, right into Kurablin village. This caused everything to go up in flames. The people from Kurablin village were devastated. With tears in his eyes, someone screamed: “We have to go back! We have to save them!!!” But Yippie said to him it was too late. The only way to make it right is by stopping Yeet before he can do this to anyone else.

 

Chapter 9: The Mountain Tops

 

Immediately when the group reached the mountain tops, they noticed a huge city with a skyscraper in the sky, you could say it is a sky-skyscraper even. In this city there’s a lot of awesome people! And there is even a really weird thing here called: “The internet”!!! It’s wild! They are watching videos of people dancing on music with a lot of OTT on the masters. “OTT” is apparently something that means “good music”. Truly fascinating really!

Even though the people of Windchest City will never run out of 15 second videos, they are running out of food. The cooks decided to cook up some pizza for the people of Windchest City. While the group was trying to find some boxes to deliver the pizza’s in, Yippie noticed something weird. Yippie was reading the disclaimer of their so-called “TokTak” app, and in it there was something suspicious. It said this: “By downloading TokTak, you agree to let Yeet take over the city’s infrastructure.”

Apparently Yeet has created this TokTak app in order to minimise productivity and get everyone to be unaware of their surroundings! Does this mean Yeet is near? Yes, it does. Because Yeet sensed Yippie’s presence, and he knew that being aware of this could endanger his position of power. So out of spite, Yeet set fire to all of Windchest. While the group is saving as many people from Windchest as possible, the cooks decided to be brave and attack Yeet.

The cooks managed to survive the attack by Yeet. It was fierce, but they made it through. Yippie came and helped the cooks by distracting Yeet. Yeet looked at Yippie, readying his attack, but then poof! Yeet was being launched off the mountain by the 12 inch KitchenAid Stainless Steel Pan, this time with a whole cheese attached to it, in order to increase the knockback on the pan.

 

Chapter 10: Riding The Sky

 

The group managed to save most people from Windchest city, and the cooks have managed to throw Yeet off the mountain. They found a huge cloud with enough space and fuel to transport everyone into the clouds where Yeeeeeeee was. While flying towards the clouds, Yippie fell in love with one of the cooking hats from Windchest City. He was very in love, and he gradually got closer to the other hat. At that moment, right when they started holding each other’s invisible hands, they gently crashed into a clouds. Oops, Yippie forgot he was steering.

 

Chapter 11: The Clouds

 

The cooks were a little stranded in the clouds, there was not really a way to make their way to Yeeeeeeee, so they were pretty stuck. They decided to stir-fry some vegetables, and while they were doing this, they noticed that it created more clouds! So after a lot of stir-frying, they managed to make enough clouds to make their way over to Yeet.

There she was, Yeeeeeeee, The Undefeated. But the cooks didn’t have time for statistics, they knew what was at stake, and they were dedicated to take the Philips Airfryer HD9200/90 from her hands. This quickly turned into a super hectic battle, because Yeeeeeeee was super fast and she destroyed clouds around them, causing them to fall down gradually. In this insane in-air battle, they knew that they could trust their 12 inch KitchenAid Stainless Steel Pan to knock Yeeeeeeee out. They managed to defeat her and take back the Philips Airfryer HD9200/90.

 

Chapter 12: The Fall

 

With the Philips Airfryer HD9200/90 in their possession, the group was ready to face Yeet at his own base. Conveniently they were falling down right into the deep chasm where Yeet lives. But they are falling down hard! Falling down with dangerous object left and right. Yippie actually really enjoyed this fall, he said: “Wooooohhhh, there’s nothing cooler than flying and being in love at the same time!!! Wooooooooohhhhh”. Luckily everyone managed to avoid the objects. Until the unthinkable happened… Yeeeeeeee dropped one of her knives right before she got defeated, and right before they land on the ground…

The knife cut right through Yippie The Hat, and it teared him apart. Everyone survived the fall, but their loyal companion Yippie The Hat sadly didn’t live to see that moment.

“I am one of the cooks, I am the one who wrote down our adventure so far actually, but now... I just don’t know what to think or feel anymore. I know Yippie never liked violence, but Yeet, he deserves to die. “

Yeet took the light, he took everything, the world used to be beautiful, and we had the chance to bring it back. But what would it be worth; saving a world, if the best of us aren’t there anymore. I can give countless of examples of great people that we have lost too soon. But I have just discussed it with the group, the only way to avenge Yippie is by stopping the root of all evil, the only way to get justice is by getting vengeance. We are coming, and nobody is gonna be able to stop us.

 

Chapter 13: The Chasm

 

We have just survived the chasm. In this world filled with goblins, we decided to leverage them into working with us, using the lego treatment. This worked for some, but for the others we had to cook them food. We made hamburgers, usign the airfryer to fry the burgers. Now we have an army. An army ready to help us take down Yeet.

One issue, the dragon returned. Yeet reincarnated the dragon after we threw him down the mountain. This was not an easy fight. We used up all our legos, which left the dragon vulnerable. We are not holding back anymore, we are not pulling our punches.

We just killed the dragon, and it is gonna be crucial in our final recipe. We will make dragon smoothies and use this to strengthen ourself, which should help to defeat Yeet.

 

Chapter 14: Final Showdown

 

As the cooks are approaching Yeet, they see a huge gate. They open the gate using all their strenght, and yes. There he is, Yeet, with no place to run.

Yeet started turning and we saw his hatred. We decided to set up the cooking while the group is distracting Yeet.

In an epic battle with Yeet we used up all our resources. We overestimated our abilities. What we are doing isn’t working, and the dragon smoothies are super powerful, but not powerful enough. Half of the group is down, and we are only left with one final solution.

We decided to combine all our dragon power to stun Yeet and build a portal. And then we ran.

 

Chapter 15: Epilogue

 

Yup… We ran. I just… I don’t know. There’s no way back now, they destroyed the portal. We are safe now. Here in this enchanted forest, there’s enough food and it’s peaceful enough for us to survive and live out our lives. I suppose this is something we can be pretty proud of? We managed to find peace again. But I just wonder. At what cost?

“Hi, here I am, 10 years later. It’s been 10 years since I’ve last written in this book. I fell in love with a beautiful woman from Kurablin village, she’s the most wonderful person, and she’s pregnant with my child now. I guess I just wanted to write down that we are gonna name our child Yippie.”

Yippie, we love you.